i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize