So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
