U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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