NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
