Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
