i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
