you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
