i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've blown a few things in my day
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
