This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
