I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
