Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
