i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
