To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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