I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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