The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
