You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Pooping to opera.
Randomize