I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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