I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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