He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
