My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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