hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
