I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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