i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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