Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
