I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
