so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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