do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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