So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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