She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
