So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
