Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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