who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
