I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
