My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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