i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
