hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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