i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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