Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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