i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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