is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
