oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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