a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
