You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
