you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize