Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
