I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
