the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
