I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
