if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize