from now on my penis is your penis
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
