respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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