So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
