no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
