I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
