Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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