i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
