whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
