I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
