Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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