he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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