I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize