ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
