The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
