Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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