so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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